ASSIMILATION

She was far away, this woman he'd been. He knew her child's and husband's names. He could see their faces. But Natalie was a ghost.

Natalie Keller was a happy, attractive woman in the prime of her life: a mother and a wife. The kind of woman some people are jealous of. When a fatal car accident ends Natalie’s life, a new technology allows her husband to bring her back. Except it isn’t Natalie who wakes up over a year after the accident. It’s Andrew.

Andrew is not the only one who has returned from death profoundly changed, and he soon finds a group of misfits who share his fate. They include the brilliant and reckless Oz, who decides to make Andrew his project. The closer they become, the more Oz pushes Andrew into a carelessness that jeopardizes both of their lives.

Having paid for the procedure, Natalie’s husband Robert has control over Andrew’s body and legal identity. In order to get his life back, Andrew must play a dangerous game, keeping Robert in the dark and preserving his own sanity until he can legally revoke Natalie’s identity. But Robert is not the only threat. CryoLife, the company behind the new procedure, is eager to cover up any “mistakes”.

In a world where a new life is possible, there are still those who would tell Andrew and Oz how to live theirs. When the truth of who they are is on the line, what are they willing to sacrifice for their freedom?

A dystopian sci-fi thriller for fans of Ann Leckie, Lila Bowen and Kameron Hurley.

Author's Message

Assimilation was my first completed novel, and it took me by surprise. After struggling for years to write Boy, deleting and re-writing that manuscript hundreds of times, when this new idea hit me and I buzzed through without roadblocks, I was shocked. Assimilation is a novel about finding the strength to revoke the expectations of others in order to maintain one's own identity, and I hope it resonates not only with those in transgender experiences, but with anyone who may find themselves in a life or circumstance that just no longer "fits."

Assimilation and Art

Assimilation's main character, Andrew, takes a lot of inspiration from abstract art, using it to describe emotions and situations. Below are images of the artwork he cites in Assimilation.

Other inspirational media

Both the painting below (a detail from Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog by Caspar David Friedrich) and quote were very inspirational to me while writing Assimilation.

I'm a big fan of Bastille, and "Pompeii" reminds me of the feel throughout this book. :)

I'm drawn to certain images when I write. Click on or hover above the photos below for the lines these pictures inspired.

Excerpt one - Chapter 2
POV: andrew

So above everything, you’re a monster. How does that feel?

Andrew’s first thoughts on waking in the middle of the night.

You’re a regular 22nd century fucking Frankenstein.

He visualized how the scenario had played out. Dramatically pulled from the wreckage, Natalie had died, and Dr. Brigman wheeled her lifeless body into a dark tower. Green and blue Tesla coils spiraled to an open ceiling, and Brigman snapped a pair of jumper cables onto the exposed bolts from her neck. He pulled the switch, and fifteen million volts coursed through the body, jumpstarting the heart. Brigman raised his hands to the sky, cackling that his creation lived.
At two in the morning, it could’ve been real. Perhaps it was the key to the mistake.

They electrocuted her brain and zapped the part that made Natalie, Natalie. I’m what’s left over. He tipped his head, but couldn’t feel any bolts. Not that they couldn’t have removed them afterward.

Stop being stupid. You may not know exactly what happened, but this isn’t a horror movie. It’s a medical procedure. A legitimate, legal medical procedure that has saved countless lives. Maybe a surgeon just dropped his watch in me.

But whether due to electric shock, freezer burn, or masculinity-inducing metal poisoning, the result remained the same, as well as the consequences.

Excerpt Two - Chapter 12
POV: Oz

She jerked the purse to her front and dug out the familiar small jar.

“What the fuck is this?”

“That’s a rat brain floating in a jar of alcohol.”

“I know it’s a rat brain in a jar of alcohol!”

“Well, if you knew what it was, why did you ask me?”

“I want to know why you put it on my windowsill this morning!”

Natalie slammed the jar on a table to her right. The gray brain inside hit the top lid and bobbled around – tendrils of brain matter spinning like the inside of a snow globe. He was glad he’d come off the ladder.

“Don’t break it. It’s special.”

She stood glaring at him. The same rage contorted her face as it had days ago, and he wondered if he’d finally gone too far.

This bag lady was about to go crazy. She’d chuck the rat brain at him and try to tackle him to the floor. He’d have to restrain her while Barty called the police. They’d haul her away screaming, but at least they’d probably hose her down at the station.

So attack me, doll. You look like you could use a bath.

excerpt Three - Chapter 37
pov: robert

“No. You let me talk. You’ve done enough.” Robert shut the door and approached his desk. “For weeks, weeks Zuniga has been talking patience and ‘nudges’ while we make our way through a cornucopia of medication. Nothing is working. Nothing! And I cannot and will not accept any of that.”

“Mr. Keller, please sit down. I’m quite –”

“Don’t tell me what to do. I’m tired of people thinking they can advise me what to do. How to take care of my family and my wife.”

Dr. Brigman kept his calming, monotone voice. “But you’re here for answers, aren’t you?”

“Yes. And you’re going to give me something that will work today. Not tomorrow, not in a week. Today.”

“Pills? You’re thinking a different medication would help and that’s what you want?”

Robert picked a glass paperweight from Brigman’s desk and threw it hard past the man’s face at his framed doctoral degree. The frame dropped to the floor and scattered jagged pieces of glass.

“Didn’t you hear what I just said?” He roared. “I don’t want pills! I want my fucking wife back!”

Blood thumped in his ears, but the doctor remained standing, unfazed by the violence.

“Have a seat then, Mr. Keller. And let’s talk about how we can make that happen.”